Who Likes Making New Friends??

Me! Me!

Come out and play at...

http://giveittometara.blogspot.com/2011/03/weekend-blog-hop-325-327.html

 

Hopelessly Lonely

Like cattle being led to slaughter

she feels herself pushed closer to the double doors.
Aware of hard bodies pressed against her softness,
the ride of her shirt up her full torso,
the pinch of her jeans... her mothers choice... cutting into the flesh that spills over the top.
Feeling the silent expectation that her body fit into this piece of denim, conform to this size.

Her mind begins the battle that is waged daily..same time, same place.
A small salad, light dressing, is the healthy choice.
This she knew.
If not a healthy choice than no choice at all, she determined
as she burst through narrow doors into the vast room.

Eyes, like a missile, lock unto the bar filled with vegetables...cold, hard and unyielding.
Laughter, close to her ear, causes a sideways glance.
A cut of the eyes to the impossibly thin, effervescent girls to her left.
Feeling their judgement, trying to ease the lump building in her throat, she slides past the salads.
You've decided...it's no choice then!  Keep moving.
The voice inside her head whispers.

Her eyes catch a reflection of herself and the lithe girls reflected in the stainless steel.
Her body appears immense, her features swollen, her breasts overabundant.
Disgust, sadness, resignation wash over her like oncoming waves.
Her movements quicken, feeling the girls impatience pushing her from behind.
Blindly grabbing, she turns to survey the tables.
Tables filled with raging hormones, false bravado, illusion.
She doesn't fit.

Mercifully, she escapes....slipping into the bathroom....unseen.
Closing the stall door she perches on the porcelain seat.
Tucking feet up, she tries to make herself smaller....tries to make herself disappear.

Glancing to her hand she sees what she mindlessly grabbed.
So pretty in it's pinkness....so perfectly made.
Slowly lifting it to her mouth
She feels the cakey texture yield between her teeth.
The sweetness of the frosting dancing across her tongue.
The rich density sliding down, filling the hole so deep within.

This is the taste of friendship.
This is the comfort of companionship.
Feeding the hope that tomorrow will be different.
Tears trailing silently down her cheeks.


Inspired by:  Mama Kat's prompt~ Write a poem about hope.
                    The Red Dress Club~ write a piece inspired by this delicious shot.

**Note**  I usually write two seperate entries for these sites.  This week I've been ill so I tried to combine the two prompts.  Thanks for your understanding and my apologies to anyone who is offended.

...and the Oscar....I mean the Good Egg Award...goes to...

Wow! My first blog award....I feel as if I should be wearing a gown, and I don't mean nightgown, for  my acceptance.

Barbara, from Footprints in the Sand, was gracious enough to honor me.  In a week where I'm feeling more like a scrambled egg than a good egg, this gesture made me smile. Thank you so much!
She has an awesome blog about being an American girl living in France.  It's great fun experiencing life through her eyes. Stop by and say hi if you get a chance!

As for the rules:

1.  Thank & link back to the person who gave me this award
2. Share 7 things about myself
3. Award other bloggers
4. Contact these blogs and tell them about the award

Now on to the exciting part;  7 things about me, whether you wanted to know them or not:

* I live in the same little town I grew up in after years of living elsewhere.  As Bon Jovi sings, "Who says
   you can't go home?" My parents live here so right choice. Hands down.

*I have one wonderful husband, three lovable/exhausting teenagers, and one loyal Golden Retriever
  named Winnie.  Having a dog while raising teenagers is awesome because at least someone
  is happy when I walk in the door.  (heard that quote somewhere....loved it!)

*I used to teach elementary school until our second son was born.  Now I substitute, often long-term, in
  our local schools.  Perfect job for me....flexible and fun.

*My husband and I moved to Switzerland with our 3 children when they were 5, 3, and 5 months old.
  Lived there for 4 years....loved all our experiences. Well...most of them.

*I love a good glass of wine.  Who am I kidding? I love a bad glass of wine! I'm not picky.

*I dip my french fries in sour cream.

*I love having a good discussion about anything...books, psychology, faith, writing, traveling, family or
  sex...not in that particular order.

I'm a little nervous about the tagging part. I don't want it to be like a chain letter where you feel guilty if you don't respond because you'll have bad luck or horrendous menstrual cramps for 7 years.

So here's my disclaimer: 

Girls, I'm giving this award to you because I love your blog, your style, and your graciousness in welcoming me into this blogging world.  No strings attached.

 If you want to pass it on...awesome!  If you don't ....awesome! 

 I would still invite you over for that wine!

.....and the Good Egg Award goes to..... (drum roll please!)

~ayala @ a sun kissed life

~Galit Breen @ These Little Waves

~Ms. Monet @ Postcards From a Peaceful Divorce

Thanks girls for being so kind, encouraging and funny.  I hope you're dressed better than I was when you accept this honor.

Now...back to bed! 

xoxo



P.S.  I have no idea why some of my sentences skipped midway through to another line.  Sorry if it's confusing....don't have the oomph to figure it out now. 

Proof that I really am "scrambled" this week!

Being Sick=Another Blog Hop



Join me at Mid Week Mingle

    I haven't been feeling healthy this week, hence my inspiration for writing has been low.  Not much inspiring about a "headache, upset tummy" week.  But I do like meeting new friends (especially ones who don't have to see me in all my flu like glory!) so I thought I'd participate in another blog hop.  
     Hopefully, after visiting some new blogs I will feel the urge to create. Especially the urge to create more than dry toast and dirty tissues.  Sorry....was that an overshare?
       Be blessed everyone~
       Kristi

P.S.  I tried to load the button to this blog.....the key word being "tried".  Just one more thing to add to my "how to" blog list.    :(

Meet Me Monday

Although I really have to get out of this house and get some things done, I thought I'd join in on this Meet Me Monday Blog Hop.  I love meeting new bloggers so I thought this might be fun.  Nice simple questions that even my sleep deprived self can answer today.

1.  What jewelry do you wear 24/7?

       ~ My engagement and wedding rings are the only ones I never take off.

2.  Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?

       ~Twirl it! Finally have the knack although no one would mistake me for an Italian!

3.  How many siblings do you have?

      ~ Two siblings...an older brother Paul, and an older sister Karri. 

4.  Were you named after anyone?

      ~ No, my mom just loved the name Kristi Ann.  I later learned that Krisit means "follower of Christ" and Ann means "full of grace".  So....a follower of Christ who's full of grace?  NO pressure there!   Guess I'm thankful my son's names mean "crooked nose" and "teardrop/ raven".  No pressure for them.   My daughter's means "grace".  Hmmm...little pressure? 

          
5.  Coke or Pepsi?

      Used to be a Diet Coke addict but gave up all caffeinated beverages ~except green tea.

Wow...that's it?  Like I said, simple. I'm glad for simplicity today.~Meet Me Monday Blog Hop

Word for 2011

In January, when I first started to get serious about maybe creating a blog, I did some exploring. 

I found the idea of choosing a "Word of the Year" and claiming it for my own. 

Loved. This. Idea.

The word I chose?

Create.

What was I thinking!?!

I have spent hours trying to create this blog.

Hours that should be used taking care of my family.  I'm embarrassed to admit that it took about 5 hours just to learn how to make a banner on Picasa 3!

5 hours!

I could have cleaned a closet and made a gourmet dinner in that time.

The banner didn't even turn out the way I wanted. (whine)

Of course the gourmet dinner might not have either so that's a coin toss as to which was the better use of my time.

Seriously, I am wondering why I have become so devoted to this little blog.

I'm not trying to make money or collect 1000 followers.

(although I must admit I do love me some followers!)

So why am I doing this?

I guess I just took the circular way back around to the word.

Create.

I feel as if there are some things, and I'm still discovering them, that I need to express.

Whether this be through writing, photos, designs, or home decor it seems to feed something.

Something inside of me that has been quiet for a long time.

Looking back I suppose it was quiet because I was directing my energy elsewhere....primarily small children.

Now that my children are older they don't appreciate my butterfly sandwiches, Thankful Turkey displays, and splatter pictures quite as much.

My creativity needed another outlet. 

Hence, this blog.

Late at night, In the wee hours of the morning I have my insecurities.

I've never been this public about my writing...my feelings...my trials and mistakes.

Yet, I know I will wake in the morning....run to my writing space....and one sweet person will have left a comment.

That's all it takes, and it will encourage me.

To try.

To fail.

To get back up.

To create again.

Because there is one thing I have learned for sure during this small time I've spent in Blogging World.

People I have never met can make a difference in my life.

They are the ones who have made me laugh and cry...

Through their stories... their encouragement...their lives.

"They" is really you.

The you that is reading this right now.

Thanks for showing this little blog some attention and giving it some love.

I'm happy to give it right back at ya!

With all of you around me I feel as if I can really live 2011 while honoring my word.

Create.

Even if my attempts don't come out the way I visualize...

I will carry on...

I will create...and

 I will get to bed before 3 AM....but it's going to be close!

Sweet dreams.... xoxo

How about you? Do you have a word for 2011?
I know! I know! It's March already.
But it's still not too late to start.
What would your word be?
I would LOVE to know!

 

The Grand Unveiling

Sorry my first photo is a shot of my backview as I walk down 5th Ave. in NYC, but  since my husband is teaching me.... 

His help...his pick!

At least I'm learning! :)

Here's a front view just to balance things out! 

I think today is going to be a "play with blog pictures day".

I may even get really brave and create a new header/banner!

Stay tuned.
By the way,

 I am very glad to finally have a "face" on here!

Happy Saturday! 

Hope Upon Hope

The earth solid, the day before.
Kiss goodbye and see you soon.
Off to school, stores, work, play.

The earth shakes and fear descends.
Waters swirl, smoke arises, buildings fall
Independence washed away in a moment.


Fear, uncertainty, disbelief, horror, shock, grief
Daddies die, mothers mourn, children wail
Life as they knew is changed.


So many dreams gone, dimmed, hidden
In the twisted rubble, churning waters
But hope is there, glowing gently.


Hope is to expect with confidence.
To cherish a desire with anticipation.
Await, hope for, watch for, expect.


Who are they watching out for?
           Watching for you, watching for me
What are they expecting will arrive?
          Expecting compassion, food, water, shelter, warmth
Where will this all flow from?
          Flowing from the land of plenty.

Yes the earth shook, waters raged.
But it's borders disappeared, melted together.
For today we're all one race.

The human race, with faces unique
Hearts beating strong, souls still stirring
We reach out and embrace Japan.

Hope... upon hope... upon hope....fulfilled.



Inspired by:  Making Things Up,~ word of the week was "hope".
                   Six Word Fridays
             
Shared on: Poetry Potluck

Lessons from Mom

1. Date your husband~ My mom and dad are not the mushy, never "raise your voice at each other" type of couple. They are feisty, real, funny....and they adored us. Yet, they never failed to make time for each other. I can remember watching my mom blot her lipstick on a piece of Kleenex leaving perfect kiss prints. With a spray of perfume, a word to the babysitter, and a smile as bright as the sun she would float through the door with my dad.  Sometimes it was Dance Club, or dinner with friends, or even a house party with adult laughter and dancing. Whatever it was I felt secure in their love as I watched them head out the door...and I knew that tonight was the night that I got to eat frozen Banquet Mac & Cheese for dinner. Yes! Life was good.

2. Faith~ The foundation for her life. Never preachy or judgemental. Just a steadfast belief that God was always with her...every step of the way. As I grew older and learned more about my mom's life and losses I was amazed that she survived with such grace and not a trace of bitterness. The reason? Her spirit is one with God.  Church was (and still is) her second home.  It became mine also.

3. Nurture your friendships with women~ As much as she loves my dad my mom also loves her girlfriends.  Some of my earliest memories are of those ladies laughing, crafting, playing games, drinking coffee, and always talking. She values her friendships, and now at 80 years old, has seen too many of those women pass away. There is the sadness, but overshadowing all of that, is the happiness they shared. Friendship is so worth the risk and inevitable pain.

4. Keep it clean and tidy~ Well....let's be honest. She taught this, I try to live it, but she is a Ninja cleaner. I can only aspire to be like her someday in this respect.  I loved having the cleanest and best-smelling home in the neighborhood. Bottom line is she taught me to take care of what God has blessed me with.

5. Different people show love in different ways~ My mom was not a speaker of  "I love you" as I grew up.  Actually my dad was the distributor of abundant affection and loving words.  My mom, having never experienced that as a young girl, wasn't as comfortable. Yet, I never doubted her love or even noticed that she didn't say the words often.  She showed it, with every fiber of her being, by lavishing her attention on all of us kids. She showed me that love is a verb. You "do" it...not just say it.



6. Give of yourself...no strings attached~ My mom's legacy is going to be one of giving. She is famous in our small town for always having the time to send a card, make a visit, cook a meal, dry some tears, or organize any kind of event.  If I tried to describe what she gives in her daily life you would think I was exaggerating. Let me just say  She. Is. Amazing. 

7. Cook~ I know most of us think our moms are the best cooks in the world. Mine really is! :)

8. A few curls and a little lipstick never hurt anyone~  This line used to drive my up the wall! My mom always looks pretty and put together.  I, on the other hand, am very comfortable running into the grocery store sans makeup sporting a ponytail.  Even as an adult, when I see my mom she is likely to remark, "Oh honey, you look so pretty. I love it when you put a few curls in your hair." I think I've finally learned at 44 years of age, it isn't about the hair and lipstick. It's about the fact that I'm still her little girl and she wants to "doll me up".  Once a mom, always a mom.


9.Inner strength~
"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.” quote from Winnie the Pooh

Pooh summed it up best.  My mom tries to tell me this everyday in her own words.  Through her inner strength she has shown me mine.

10. I am loved....just the way I am~  I wasn't the smartest kid in my class, or the most athletic, or Homecoming queen.  I didn't win any scholarships, become famous, or earn a million dollars.  Yet, my mom's eyes light up every time I step in the room. She makes me feel adored....and isn't that about the best thing a mother can make her child feel? Although she knows my faults, she focuses on my strengths. She makes me feel as if I'm more than enough. I am her blessing, and in that truth I feel blessed.

*I know this is lengthy, and sentimental, and probably filled with a million cliches. Yet, I needed to write this for myself....and maybe for my mom.  At the age of 80 (almost 81) she deserves an entire book about how amazing she is.  I condensed it for this post! :)

What I Learned This Week

This afternoon I was clicking on different blogs, and I found Julie. I loved the idea of her "What I Learned This Week Carnival".  Thought I'd play along because random listing appealed to me today. Go check her out!  (But maybe say hi to me before you leave.  I could use a hi!)

* The snow will melt eventually. Actually, I relearned that.  I have to relearn it every March ( or May since we're in MI) because during the loooong winter I forget.

* Having friends over....sharing laughter, prayer, music, and food leaves a feeling of goodness and light in our home. ....long after they leave.

* Letting go of control especially when it comes to teenagers can be sanity saving.  I had a wonderful Saturday afternoon with my 18 year old son.  I just enjoyed him for who he is right now ...not for who he used to be or who I pray he will become.  Reminding myself that he is writing his own life story, and I can't write it for him, freed me from that need to control help.  Laughter, great conversation, and chili cheese fries...a winning combination.

*Beanbag beans from a broken beanbag are a nightmare to clean up.

*I'm obsessed with the show Parenthood.  I had an actual moment of mourning when it wasn't on last night.  My friend and I sat in front of the tv and just stared in sorrow.

*Giving and receiving comments on a blog can be addictive.

*Sometimes there is dog poop under all the glistening white snow.  Life is like that.

*I need more discipline when it comes to many things. This week I was going to start writing my list of blessings inspired by the book One Thousand Gifts.  I only made it to #11....not because I don't have them but I find too many excuses not to write them down.

* I can ramble on and on and on while I'm writing.  So, this is me ....being quiet now.