Thursday, March 24, 2011

Hopelessly Lonely

Like cattle being led to slaughter
she feels herself pushed closer to the double doors.
Aware of hard bodies pressed against her softness,
the ride of her shirt up her full torso,
the pinch of her jeans... her mothers choice... cutting into the flesh that spills over the top.
Feeling the silent expectation that her body fit into this piece of denim, conform to this size.

Her mind begins the battle that is waged daily..same time, same place.
A small salad, light dressing, is the healthy choice.
This she knew.
If not a healthy choice than no choice at all, she determined
as she burst through narrow doors into the vast room.

Eyes, like a missile, lock unto the bar filled with vegetables...cold, hard and unyielding.
Laughter, close to her ear, causes a sideways glance.
A cut of the eyes to the impossibly thin, effervescent girls to her left.
Feeling their judgement, trying to ease the lump building in her throat, she slides past the salads.
You've's no choice then!  Keep moving.
The voice inside her head whispers.

Her eyes catch a reflection of herself and the lithe girls reflected in the stainless steel.
Her body appears immense, her features swollen, her breasts overabundant.
Disgust, sadness, resignation wash over her like oncoming waves.
Her movements quicken, feeling the girls impatience pushing her from behind.
Blindly grabbing, she turns to survey the tables.
Tables filled with raging hormones, false bravado, illusion.
She doesn't fit.

Mercifully, she escapes....slipping into the bathroom....unseen.
Closing the stall door she perches on the porcelain seat.
Tucking feet up, she tries to make herself smaller....tries to make herself disappear.

Glancing to her hand she sees what she mindlessly grabbed.
So pretty in it's perfectly made.
Slowly lifting it to her mouth
She feels the cakey texture yield between her teeth.
The sweetness of the frosting dancing across her tongue.
The rich density sliding down, filling the hole so deep within.

This is the taste of friendship.
This is the comfort of companionship.
Feeding the hope that tomorrow will be different.
Tears trailing silently down her cheeks.

Inspired by:  Mama Kat's prompt~ Write a poem about hope.
                    The Red Dress Club~ write a piece inspired by this delicious shot.

**Note**  I usually write two seperate entries for these sites.  This week I've been ill so I tried to combine the two prompts.  Thanks for your understanding and my apologies to anyone who is offended.


  1. Wow.
    I totally could feel her desperation and then her sense of peace. The image of her feet tucked under her as she perched on the potty? Definitely sticking with me!
    Great job!

  2. Wow ... this was pretty intense. Though I must say I wasn't sure I felt a sense of hope in this poem...just sadness and loneliness. I hope this girl find a way out. Very well done.

    Visiting from Mama Kats.

  3. I loved your poem! What vivid imagery and deep feeling you evoke with these words. Nice work! Thanks so much for sharing.

  4. This was intense... and I found myself right there with her. Why do girls have to struggle so much-- it's completely heartbreaking to me!

  5. Wow, that is so sad, and beautiful, and descriptive, and intense... amazing.

  6. Wonderful imagery and spin on hope.

  7. I agree with all the previous comments.

    Powerful post.

  8. Great writing. I don't know if I want a salad or cake now though.

  9. Kristi- First - I LOVED your comment on my blog - you put a huge smile on my face (and I needed that). I would love a guest post!

    Now...that poem/story, well, some of it hits close to home. I have had a date with some of those thoughts. Very well written and moving and real. I am following you now!
    504 Main

  10. My head's pounding with emotion. Freshly back from seeing my registered dietitian, served with this moving morsel. The frankness appealing, the photo, too! Can so relate.

  11. Ugh! This poor girl! From the desperation of expectation to the negative self talk I just felt for this poor girl!

    You set the scene and gave a glimpse of her inner workings, her back story perfectly.

    I loved this line: "the pinch of her jeans... her mothers choice... cutting into the flesh that spills over the top. Feeling the silent expectation that her body fit into this piece of denim, conform to this size." Although it saddened me to no end.

    You rocked it, lady, and i hope you're feeling much, much better! Mojitos, anyone? :)

  12. It's sad that there are expectations for people, especially women, to have a certain body type. This is a powerful piece!

  13. Wow.

    Your description is perfect.

    I am so sad for this girl.

  14. I think most people can relate to this girl in some way. I know I could!

    You did a very nice job of showing her perception of how everyone else sees her, without assuming that she was right. I really liked that.

  15. I could picture this poor girl, and I love the imagine of how her mother bought the size she wanted her daughter to be.

    My only thing is you started the story with a cliche. I'd love to see you use a more original simile there. ;)

    Otherwise, I really like how you portrayed this scene.

  16. Dark and beautiful at the same time!! I'm participating in the “Week-End Blog Hop” and I’m now the newest GFC follower of your great site. Hope you have a chance to check out my blog, have a look around and maybe follow me back!!

  17. How sad. I feel for this girl. I absolutely love the line "The rich density sliding down, filling the hole so deep within." I think you can take out the word 'so' but other than that I love this line. I love how the donut is filling the hole within her and how a donut also has a hole in it. It's not complete either. Love it!

  18. Oh what a gut wrenching read. Thank you for linking up with it. And telling the story that others will identify with. So powerful

  19. This was great, really- truly-great.

    I felt so sad for this girl- between the mom wanting her to be thin and the girls that are thin giving her pressure...

    Then hiding in the bathroom...

    Very well done!

  20. The rich density sliding down, filling the hole so deep within.

    I agree about cutting the "so," but this line has serious teeth. It says so much about who we all try to feed ourselves.

    I, too, feel for this poor girl. You words elegantly capture the pain of adolescence as well as the difficulty to fight one's need for basic comfort.

    Well done!


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