Monday, December 30, 2013

Christmas 2013

They grow.
They change.
But the little child is still within each of them...
and the tradition lives on!  

May you all carry the joys of 2013
 and the wisdom gained into this next year...
and leave behind any shame or regrets.
May you be truly present as 2014 unfolds,
 moment by moment,
 and may your hearts be brave enough to stay open to it all.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

"...I will follow You wherever You go."
Luke 9:57

May I have the humbleness to ask for guidance
the strength to follow wherever You lead.

Linked with: Deidre at The Sunday Community

Monday, February 11, 2013

A Bit of Reality

I notice that as I look back many of my blog posts
are tinged with bittersweet~ness.
I bit of sadness just edged around the corners.
Especially when I write about my children.
And that fact alone makes me a bit sad.
There are still many moments of happiness.
Moments of pride...moments of joy...moments of pure love.
Yet there are other moments that weren't there 20 years ago.
So many of the moms I see blogging
are at the stage where the children are little,
snuggled around them,
still under the umbrella of mom.
Yet, I began blogging when my children were teenagers...
some of them now adults...
and it has been a different experience
I wish I had a record of those days of Play-Do, Pop-Rocks,
Power Rangers and princesses.
Those years had difficult times but in retrospect it seemed easier.
The laughter was easier to capture. 
The innocence much more evident.
My posts now deal with the letting go.
It's a joyful process for me.
It's a painful process for me. 
I do have other things in my life that fulfill me
yet for some reason letting go of my children
has been a bit anxiety-ridden.
It's also a time that many of the big topics...
like pot smoking,
less than stellar grades,
lack of faith in God,
unplanned pregnancy,
unsafe driving, 
peer pressure,
eating disorders...
can make an appearance. 
Maybe not all of them....and maybe not to everyone. 
But some of them have made an appearance in my parenting world
 and I must say I don't like it. 
And if I was honest...
I don't know if I'm doing a good job at handling it.
When your kids make the right choice...the choice that lets them soar and shine...your heart sings.
Its easy to rejoice and revel in their their their lives.
Other people are happy for you...
they congratulate you...
you are modest yet deep inside you bask in that glow.
Yet the other side of the coin. 
Those things that I mentioned....
they are often unmentionables. 
Parents don't want to share that side of their children.
A Christmas card perfect family is the ideal
and oftentimes the expectation in our competition driven society.
They don't want anyone to think less of the loves of their life.
Even if the parents know that other people know about the darker side...
they usually choose not to speak.
And that silence is deafening.
And isolating.
And sad.
Judgement is pervasive. 
The thought that poor decisions are contagious. 
The belief that poor parenting is the cause...
for of course it MUST be the way the kids were parented.
It's easier to blame it on the parenting because you can then have that sense of security that you parent much better and those unmentionables won't happen to you. 
It is such a false sense of security.
For you can look at
3 different children,
or 6 different  children,
or 10 different children....
all raised by the same parents
and they will each be an individual. 
They will each make their own choices.
There are some families who seem to never experience the unmentionables.
Maybe they ARE better parents than the rest of us.
Or maybe luck has just smiled down on them a little more during this stage.
But the stress of knowing that your big kids
make big mistakes.
Mistakes that can change their future
is overwhelming at times.
At least to me.
I'm thinking I"m not alone.
Yet I can't help but hold on to these thoughts.
The joy still far outweighs the pain.
My kids need to write their own stories.
The twists and falls will help them become
who God means for them to be.
The good and loving hearts that they pocess
 will always prevail in the end.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and forgiveness.

Galatians 5:22

My beautiful girl is going to be confirmed today. My prayer is that she will cultivate the beautiful gifts that the Holy Spirit has bestowed on her.
God bless her.
Linking up with: Deidra at The Sunday Community


Saturday, January 19, 2013

Good Butt Jeans

Here is my vain post.
The one I almost didn't write.
Yet, the one I think a few of you might identify with...deep down in your woman heart.

I'm struggling with my weight...which as we all know is struggling with things that are NOT my weight...but reveal themselves in weight.
You know what I mean?

Yesterday while shopping with my daughter for her confirmation dress I impulsively pulled a pair of jeans off the rack and headed to the check out. Yes...I did not try them on.  That's another part of my struggle.  Dressing room lighting and mirrors.  I prefer the soft, dim, fuzzy lighting in my own home.  If I don't like them, there's always return.

Dressed for a night with my friends I walk out for my 15 year old daughter's inspection.  She murmured the appropriate "I like that outfit.  Looks good Mom." but as I turned away I heard her voice again...a lot more enthusiasm in her tone.
"Hey! They make your butt look great!"

The magic words!
"They make your butt look great!"

Yes, I know that it is much more important what is in my heart.
I know that it is more important that I let Christ's spirit shine in my eyes and through my actions each day.
I know that beauty is only skin deep and that aging is a blessing and with it comes wisdom.

But I need to confess that I would like to know and do all of the above...while wearing my "good butt jeans"!

May I please have an "amen" of agreement from any of my other sister friends out there?!

Thursday, January 17, 2013


I want to be... confident.
I want to silence the voice that says I'm not enough
and remember that I AM enough.
God created me beautifully
with an innate desire to explore.

I want to be... brave.
I want to look past the fear that feels like fire 
and see the possiblities. 
Then move forward with my fire extinguisher
ready to explore.
I want to be... joyful.
I want to snip off those threads of worry
that wind themselves
around each part of my life. 
Cut myself loose and be free to laugh,
to sing,
to twirl
and to explore.
Be authentic.
Embrace vulnerability.
Explore what is within.
Be myself.
Unleash the possiblities.
Explore the world.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Faith and Daring


“Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see”

William Newton Clarke

This picture of my son Cameron inspires me...and this quote speaks to my heart.
With Christ I can dare to do those things that before I only dreamed of.
Here's to daring greatly!
Linking up with Jumping Tandem

Friday, January 11, 2013

The Lifts Change

Can you lift me up high?
Lifting him up so his eyes
Can see the parade coming close.
Little legs dangling over Daddy's shoulders.
King of all that he sees
Just like Daddy, viewing the world.

Can you lift me up high?

Lifting her up so her lips
Can reach the drinking fountain water.
Or Santa's face...or Papa's cheek.
Up on to the kitchen counter
Just like Mommy, stirring the batter.

The years shift; the lifts change

Can you give me a lift?
Dropping off at the local mall
Where the gaggle of friends wait.
Ready to roam and to test
Her independnce in small tiny ways.
Knowing that I will return shortly
To give her a lift home.

Can you give me lift?
Dropping off at the distant university.
Where the dorms... roommates... professors... wait.
Ready to roam and to test
His knowledge... his boundaries... his freedom.
Knowing that when he returns home
He will be him... yet different.

The years shift; the lifts change

But the love remains the same.

Linking up to Six Word Fridays: Inspired by the word~ Lift