tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post5239947822407003354..comments2023-10-25T07:26:28.960-04:00Comments on Breathe..Shine....Love: Hopelessly Lonelybreatheshinelovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04688454414455417139noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-63636751670553308192011-03-29T06:33:20.062-04:002011-03-29T06:33:20.062-04:00The rich density sliding down, filling the hole so...The rich density sliding down, filling the hole so deep within.<br /><br />I agree about cutting the "so," but this line has serious teeth. It says so much about who we all try to feed ourselves. <br /><br />I, too, feel for this poor girl. You words elegantly capture the pain of adolescence as well as the difficulty to fight one's need for basic comfort. <br /><br />Well done!Nancy Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04313721217543578257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-11607816378947158032011-03-27T18:35:58.634-04:002011-03-27T18:35:58.634-04:00This was great, really- truly-great.
I felt so s...This was great, really- truly-great. <br /><br />I felt so sad for this girl- between the mom wanting her to be thin and the girls that are thin giving her pressure...<br /><br />Then hiding in the bathroom...<br /><br />Very well done!Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18014210424987382382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-54710715194064911562011-03-27T14:21:40.865-04:002011-03-27T14:21:40.865-04:00Oh what a gut wrenching read. Thank you for linki...Oh what a gut wrenching read. Thank you for linking up with it. And telling the story that others will identify with. So powerfulJennahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06666555088992266185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-9520634309344978632011-03-27T12:43:13.439-04:002011-03-27T12:43:13.439-04:00How sad. I feel for this girl. I absolutely love t...How sad. I feel for this girl. I absolutely love the line "The rich density sliding down, filling the hole so deep within." I think you can take out the word 'so' but other than that I love this line. I love how the donut is filling the hole within her and how a donut also has a hole in it. It's not complete either. Love it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-26866801612518206952011-03-26T13:11:09.650-04:002011-03-26T13:11:09.650-04:00Dark and beautiful at the same time!! I'm par...Dark and beautiful at the same time!! I'm participating in the “Week-End Blog Hop” and I’m now the newest GFC follower of your great site. Hope you have a chance to check out my blog, have a look around and maybe follow me back!!<br />Monica<br />http://oldermommystillyummy.blogspot.com/Monicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15075862463694009635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-80627471374600960642011-03-25T19:15:28.614-04:002011-03-25T19:15:28.614-04:00I could picture this poor girl, and I love the ima...I could picture this poor girl, and I love the imagine of how her mother bought the size she wanted her daughter to be.<br /><br />My only thing is you started the story with a cliche. I'd love to see you use a more original simile there. ;)<br /><br />Otherwise, I really like how you portrayed this scene.Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-18175064367306712232011-03-25T12:38:18.101-04:002011-03-25T12:38:18.101-04:00I think most people can relate to this girl in som...I think most people can relate to this girl in some way. I know I could!<br /><br />You did a very nice job of showing her perception of how everyone else sees her, without assuming that she was right. I really liked that.Karen M. Petersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06972093977468313631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-11843232640701973512011-03-25T09:02:26.434-04:002011-03-25T09:02:26.434-04:00Wow.
Your description is perfect.
I am so sad f...Wow.<br /><br />Your description is perfect. <br /><br />I am so sad for this girl.amygrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10655920157645555504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-5119077464741158462011-03-25T08:26:20.295-04:002011-03-25T08:26:20.295-04:00It's sad that there are expectations for peopl...It's sad that there are expectations for people, especially women, to have a certain body type. This is a powerful piece!Evonnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18053569885496919527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-28858231683069591562011-03-25T08:22:29.968-04:002011-03-25T08:22:29.968-04:00Ugh! This poor girl! From the desperation of expec...Ugh! This poor girl! From the desperation of expectation to the negative self talk I just felt for this poor girl!<br /><br />You set the scene and gave a glimpse of her inner workings, her back story perfectly. <br /><br />I loved this line: "the pinch of her jeans... her mothers choice... cutting into the flesh that spills over the top. Feeling the silent expectation that her body fit into this piece of denim, conform to this size." Although it saddened me to no end.<br /><br />You rocked it, lady, and i hope you're feeling much, much better! Mojitos, anyone? :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05381279330033574052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-45396949435419401812011-03-24T23:49:40.929-04:002011-03-24T23:49:40.929-04:00wow! Deep. I loved it.wow! Deep. I loved it.Katinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03198298028507768923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-54703048078839914092011-03-24T20:32:06.175-04:002011-03-24T20:32:06.175-04:00My head's pounding with emotion. Freshly back ...My head's pounding with emotion. Freshly back from seeing my registered dietitian, served with this moving morsel. The frankness appealing, the photo, too! Can so relate.Donnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17528001617028785727noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-90215424577332886432011-03-24T18:58:03.757-04:002011-03-24T18:58:03.757-04:00Kristi- First - I LOVED your comment on my blog - ...Kristi- First - I LOVED your comment on my blog - you put a huge smile on my face (and I needed that). I would love a guest post!<br /><br />Now...that poem/story, well, some of it hits close to home. I have had a date with some of those thoughts. Very well written and moving and real. I am following you now!<br />Holly<br />504 MainHolly Lefevrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01682463489134875301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-64458382621961808152011-03-24T16:58:07.706-04:002011-03-24T16:58:07.706-04:00Great writing. I don't know if I want a salad...Great writing. I don't know if I want a salad or cake now though.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01823862479614209543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-34225971019692119782011-03-24T13:50:46.021-04:002011-03-24T13:50:46.021-04:00I agree with all the previous comments.
Powerful ...I agree with all the previous comments.<br /><br />Powerful post.Diannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15438590711792689202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-33017964291004733552011-03-24T12:28:24.613-04:002011-03-24T12:28:24.613-04:00Wonderful imagery and spin on hope.Wonderful imagery and spin on hope.Jackihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17274668319469085424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-86651476503224941242011-03-24T10:42:51.481-04:002011-03-24T10:42:51.481-04:00Well done, sad and lovely.Well done, sad and lovely.ayalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13243362803799877014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-76329318549554871072011-03-24T10:10:58.002-04:002011-03-24T10:10:58.002-04:00LovelyLovelyAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09423358205279071977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-17047476246121152032011-03-24T09:49:14.027-04:002011-03-24T09:49:14.027-04:00Wow, that is so sad, and beautiful, and descriptiv...Wow, that is so sad, and beautiful, and descriptive, and intense... amazing.The Yager Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08042389985084034231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-82929670512164152582011-03-24T09:48:25.677-04:002011-03-24T09:48:25.677-04:00This was intense... and I found myself right there...This was intense... and I found myself right there with her. Why do girls have to struggle so much-- it's completely heartbreaking to me!Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08633567497855803555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-19860610453706738772011-03-24T09:12:11.257-04:002011-03-24T09:12:11.257-04:00I loved your poem! What vivid imagery and deep fee...I loved your poem! What vivid imagery and deep feeling you evoke with these words. Nice work! Thanks so much for sharing.LeadingMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10203341373812127689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-13279574452241297042011-03-24T09:10:36.996-04:002011-03-24T09:10:36.996-04:00Wow ... this was pretty intense. Though I must say...Wow ... this was pretty intense. Though I must say I wasn't sure I felt a sense of hope in this poem...just sadness and loneliness. I hope this girl find a way out. Very well done.<br /><br />Visiting from Mama Kats.Jennershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08044537551139633301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3869501184533957798.post-58143062306233612922011-03-24T09:05:47.374-04:002011-03-24T09:05:47.374-04:00Wow.
I totally could feel her desperation and then...Wow.<br />I totally could feel her desperation and then her sense of peace. The image of her feet tucked under her as she perched on the potty? Definitely sticking with me!<br />Great job!Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14504935960139318171noreply@blogger.com