Sometimes You Just Have To.....

 

I need this poster...giant size...now!

I committed to running a half marathon (yes, that's 13.1 miles) 

next month which is something that wasn't on

ANY bucket list I may have made!

The bad news is that I have not been disciplined in my training.

Life was challenging this summer and I didn't rise to the challenge the way that I would have hoped.

I am heavier than I have been,

and my cardio-vascular resembles...

resembles....

well, I can't even think of

something to compare it to!!

I am scared.

Yet, I realize that I can use that fear as a motivator.

I still have time to prepare...

stretching,

running,

watching my eating habits,

preparing my ipod song list,

finding cute running clothes that make my butt and belly look half their size....

You know....The important stuff!!

 

On a more serious note, I am running to raise money for the

Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

The program is called Team In Training, and this group has been a fantastic support system.

My Honored Hero is the sweet, brave son of one of my dearest friends. 

You can read more about him here.

 

So although I'm stressed and afraid it is nothing compared to what he lived with for years.

I may be crazy.

In fact, as I try to step on that tread mill this morning

I KNOW I'm crazy!

But I've lost my mind for a wonderful cause.

 

Now I need to find a spot to hang this giant size poster!!

Refrigerator maybe?

And it goes round and round....

Life is busy.
There is nothing new about that.
There are 24 hours a day.
There is nothing new about that.
I have forgotton to nurture myself.
Sadly, there is nothing new about that.

I've been away from blog. 
Rarely reading, never writing, always guilt ridden.
Feeling guilty that I haven't taken the time.
The time to log on, let my fingers dance on the keys...
my thoughts and dreams recorded here for all time.
I don't have delusions of grandeur.
I know that my blog is mainly for me...
and a few loyal friends who faithfully comment. (Thank you!)
Yet, grand or not this blog is a part of me.
A part that is important yet so easy for me to ignore.
Once I've not written for a while I start to avoid.
Then more time goes by and I still don't write.
The negative self talk begins and so it goes....
Round...and round...and round.

It makes me think of the all the other areas of my life.
The physical, spiritual, and emotional pieces.
I think about how my procrastination has been a theif.
It has stolen time from me by layering on self doubt....guilt.
And the worst part is that I have allowed it.
My life is unfolding and I'm not taking the time to record it.
My life is unfolding and I'm not being in the moment to live it.

I think it's time for that to change.


(Note: Something is wrong with my computer and/or blog. I can't go back to read what I wrote...Only some of my posting options are appearing...and worst of all I can't move the cursor back to edit. Hmmmm....need to figure this out or my posts are going to be all crazy like! I will try not to let it discourage me from posting...but it's strange!)

Beautiful

A message for all of us women to hold close to our hearts.

Linking up with: Sunday

New Year's Eve In the Spring

Spring...similiar to New Year's Eve.

For it's much anticipated new beginning

Feeling that life offers new chances.

Missing is the intense build up.

Watching the clock for the moment

When midnight strikes and fireworks explode.

Instead it's a gently unfolding process.

Daily greening with buds slowly unfurling.

Much like the becoming we experience

As we run, crawl, and dance

Through this blessing we call life.

Spring offers the gently prodding reminder.

It's not about a magical minute.

It's about the many magical minutes

That have helped us to grow.

Linking up to Six Word Fridays: Inspired by the word~ Spring

Sunday Shine

Arise, shine, for your light has come,

and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. (NIV)

Isaiah 60:1

(My word for 2012 is shine.  This verse and image inspires me.)

Linking up with: Sunday at Jumping Tandem and Still Saturday. Come stop by and be inspired!

I Blinked

I blinked.

I blinked and January was over.

In the aftermath of surgeries, holidays, and trips...

of strokes, working, and laundry...

of proms, dinners, and tears...

I woke up and realized that a whole precious month was gone.

And I hadn't taken the time to savor it.

My word for 2011 was create.

Not only did I give birth to this blog

but so many of my everyday moments were focused around that word.

Whether it was a dinner cooked,

a post written,

or

a lesson taught,

I tried to tap into that part of me that longed to create.

My year was made better because of my word.

2012 is a new year...a new word.

The word that seemed to choose me is shine.

Now that may seem an obvious choice since the word is right

in the name of this blog.

Looking back over previous posts I realized how often I wrote of it.

But for me it was a realization.

Shine.

I want to shine.

For God. For my family. For myself.

I need to shine.

For when I shine the world seems a bit warmer...a bit brighter.

Yet, please don't think shine equals perfection.

And please don't think shine translates into performance.

To me shine is being able to lose the dullness that sometimes overtakes me.

To me shine is a reminder to embrace this gift of life

and reflect it's beauty back.

To me shine requires me to be present.

To be in each of the moments of my life.

The heart-stopping joy and

the heart-pinching pain.

So I blinked...

hence, the month of January does not have many moments in which

I shone.

Instead I hid, I wallowed, I disappeared.

Yet,

this "blink and missed it" month does not need to stop me.

 There are still eleven more glorious months

 in which I can center around my word.

Shine.

I think I'm going to like this.



Meeting Myself Once Again

Just dipping my big toe back in.

Feeling a bit shy....a bit scared...a bit nervous.

A familiar feeling that always steals over me after an extended break from my blog.

Yes familiar...but still strange.

This blog is a collection of my musings, my thoughts, my life.

Coming back to it is like coming back to myself.

Maybe that's why the hesitation....the nervousness..creeps in.

For I find when I'm away from my writing I am also away from myself.

That deep self that I don't always take the time to see, to touch, to feel.

So on returning I once again am gazing at my deeper self.

The good...the bad...the beauty and the beast.

I've been away because it was a month of needs.

Needs that I needed to meet.

Needs that left me with little energy to expand on myself.

And that's ok.

I feel blessed that I could be there to help my son heal from two surgeries.

I feel blessed that I could be there to smooth some rough waters for my husband.

I feel blessed that I could help create a mood of joy and thankfulness this Christmas.

(and I feel blessed that I could make a trip to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl!)

I'm catching up on some friends. 

Babies have been born, memories have been made, beautiful posts have been created.

I could stay up all night just reading and visiting all those I have missed.

But....morning is already creeping in quietly.

I am teaching a class of Young 5's and a kindergarten class for the next 3 months...hence, I need my sleep.

So...I will take a step toward caring for myself by stepping away from the computer and sleeping.

Knowing that I when I awake....this space will still be here.

I've made the initial connection with  my deeper self once again.

It can only get easier from here on in.

Hello everyone.

Hello anyone if you are still out there.

But regardless of it all...

Hello me.

2012 is going to be a year of wonder.

Let the moments begin.