Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Writers Block...and Fear

Staring at this white box...blank except for this first sentence.
Why am I feeling so nervous?
At a loss for words? 
Wanting to say I'm sorry?
Such silliness...but that's how I feel.
I've been gone from my blog because I've been without a working computer. 
I've explained this before...why do I feel that I need to explain again?
Apologizing is something I think I overdo.
It's not as if I've let down anyone.  We, who love to blog, throw our words out there because we HAVE to. It's an urge, a nudging, a need.
I'm sure that there hasn't been anyone out there mad because for some reason Breathe...Shine...Love...hasn't had any new posts for a couple months.  It's my own insecurities, ones I don't even realize I still have that rear their ugly heads and try to hold me back from JUST DOING! That whisper for me to just be quiet...give up.

I've been living my life...writing my story each day with my actions, feelings and prayers.
It's time to give some voice to that story.
So...freeing myself of any guilt.
Typing aimlessly so that black words dance across this white box...any words will do at this point!
Relishing in the fact that my computer is up and I can blog...even if I'm the only one looking at it.
Delighted that I can once again use this space as another way to give life to my 2011 Word of the Year....create.
Rejoicing in the fact that this post is done.
Now blog life can slowly get back to normal.
Hello's good to be back.


  1. Hello you!
    Missed you ~ in the GOOD way (not in the guilt producing way!!)

    Glad you have your computer back ~ when parenthood came on last night, I was wondering if you were watching ;-)

    My whole adult life, if I've started a journal and then "missed" what I would consider to be "too many days" writing in it, I felt I had to toss it and start over. To break me of this, I've taken to writing out of order - just on random pages when the motivation is there...just sharing so you know you're not the only one out there with 'self imposed' (ahem) guilt tendencies!!

    Glad your voice is back for US to hear!

  2. I can relate to this post. I go through computers like you can not believe. I too, write a lot and when my computer goes down, I feel depraved. Thanks for sharing this post and so glad I found your blog.


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