Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Sons and the Girls They Love

Sons and girlfriends.
All the jokes about a mother letting her boy go...
or thinking any girl is good enough for her baby.
I understand because I have two sons who both have girlfriends.
However I find myself looking at these girls...
learning about what qualities my boys deem important.
And if I'm completely honest....
looking to see if there are glimpses of myself in either of them.

I've learned that if she makes my son happy...
then I am happy.
If she can make him strive to be the best version of himself
then I am pleased.
And if she can look me in the eye, smile, and be herself
then I am at peace.

It's funny because instead of wondering if these girls
are good enough for my boys
I wonder if my boys are treating them the way we have raised them
to treat women.
Do they see the inner beauty along with the outer beauty?
Do they remember she is not "one of the guys"
and adjust their conversation?
Do they encourage her to be independent...strong...capable?
Do they remember that it's not all about them...
it's about her too.
Do they show with their words, their eyes, their actions
that she is someone to be respected?

I know this sounds like a tough list of questions
for a 19 and 17 year old to answer.
Yet, it is essential to me that they do.
Because when I look at the girls
I see myself at that age.
So eager to please...so quick to mold myself
into what a thought was a lovable girl.
I remember my insecurities
and how I often hid my own light
so it wouldn't compete with my boyfriend's.
I want more for these girls.

So, yes, I adore my boys.
And, yes, I will protect them to the end.
But I will also watch over these lovely girls...
and help guide my boys into becoming more
of the men they are becoming.
Men of integrity,
strength,
tenderness,
and love.

Linking up with: Pour Your Heart Out


7 comments:

  1. lovely outlook from both sides. What a good heart you have. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. So well expressed ~ and so true. Had a conversation with my 21 year old young man last night centering on these very ideas!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You look at this in such an amazing and caring way. I wonder if I can be like that when my boys get older.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love this post. I know my mom asks me the same questions about my brother and his girlfriend, do I think he is good to her, treats her right, and I know if she's saying to me about him, she's saying it to him. I wish there was someone to remind my boyfriend of this sometimes. I don't think he knows how girls can be so fragile and insecure.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't know if I can be like you when my boys get older! I hope I can be, but I can already see how hard it's going to be for me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have one married son and already I love that girl like my own. There was no "I hope I like her". It was total acceptance right from the start because, whoever, my children will love, I will love and accept too. Thanks for the heart warming posts. You will make the best mother-in-law for any young ladies whom your sons will choose as wives.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh this is so awesome. I LOVE this. I have 2 boys.. much younger than yours but I have the same thoughts and hopes that you do for my sons, their future girlfriends, for I too remember like it was yesterday, what it was like to be that age.

    ReplyDelete

Leave a comment & make me smile!