I had the best of plans.
I posted that I was "baaaacckkk" a week ago after a long absence.
I couldn't wait to get back to my comfy chair, my writing desk that has my favorite inspirational items on it, and blog happy posts
to my heart's content.
to my heart's content.
I was excited to participate in Six Word Fridays, Mama Kat,
Sunday Citar, and The Red Dress Club.
I was thrilled at the thought of reconnecting with my blogging friends.
I thought I had it all planned.
Sunday Citar, and The Red Dress Club.
I was thrilled at the thought of reconnecting with my blogging friends.
I thought I had it all planned.
Then I got the early morning phone call.
Phone calls that come in the darkness of night
or first breath of dawn
are rarely ones that we want to answer.
It was a call I had been anticipating,
but not emotionally prepared for.
A very close friend of mine was taken to the hospital.
Her cancer has spread from her cervix....to her spleen...to her lungs.
She got the news that life for her was soon to be over.
Two weeks to ten months is what the experts say.
She is young....36 years old.
She has a wonderful husband....Lucas.
She has two beautiful children....
Noah...8 years old
Emily...5 years old
She has a faith that is inspiring to all around her.
She has a beauty that shines from within.
Her name is Carrie...
and she is loved.
So those plans I had been making fell to the wayside...
as they should.
Carrie and Lucas are part of our small church group.
In fact Lucas and I lead the group of 9.
We always say we are a family, and this was the time to show that.
The phone calls started.
The 3 hour round trips to the hospital began.
The holding of hands, wiping of tears, praying of hearts, and
finding laughter in the darkness began.
The journey of saying goodbye began.
I have never been on this journey before.
I've never sat with and loved someone as they faced death.
No matter how heart wrenching,
I know it is a gift...
and a privilege...
and a time of grace.
Still I couldn't help but think of plans.
How will we do this?
How will we do that?
How do we ease the burdens...lighten the load...show the love?
And in a moment of clarity,
I heard Him.
Don't plan...just be.
Be present in each moment
whether busy doing tasks that need to be done,
or offering comfort and shared prayers,
just be.
So, my best laid plans have changed.
My planned post topics have changed.
Life has changed for us all.
I know there are lessons I am to learn
on this journey.
And I ask for your wisdom, patience, and prayers as we
travel along.
I am going to do my best to start visiting all of you again.
I need the connection.
I need the inspiration.
I need the laughter.
I need to just be.
And you, my blogging friends, help me with all of that.
I'll be seeing you!
but not emotionally prepared for.
A very close friend of mine was taken to the hospital.
Her cancer has spread from her cervix....to her spleen...to her lungs.
She got the news that life for her was soon to be over.
Two weeks to ten months is what the experts say.
She is young....36 years old.
She has a wonderful husband....Lucas.
She has two beautiful children....
Noah...8 years old
Emily...5 years old
She has a faith that is inspiring to all around her.
She has a beauty that shines from within.
Her name is Carrie...
and she is loved.
So those plans I had been making fell to the wayside...
as they should.
Carrie and Lucas are part of our small church group.
In fact Lucas and I lead the group of 9.
We always say we are a family, and this was the time to show that.
The phone calls started.
The 3 hour round trips to the hospital began.
The holding of hands, wiping of tears, praying of hearts, and
finding laughter in the darkness began.
The journey of saying goodbye began.
I have never been on this journey before.
I've never sat with and loved someone as they faced death.
No matter how heart wrenching,
I know it is a gift...
and a privilege...
and a time of grace.
Still I couldn't help but think of plans.
How will we do this?
How will we do that?
How do we ease the burdens...lighten the load...show the love?
And in a moment of clarity,
I heard Him.
Don't plan...just be.
Be present in each moment
whether busy doing tasks that need to be done,
or offering comfort and shared prayers,
just be.
So, my best laid plans have changed.
My planned post topics have changed.
Life has changed for us all.
I know there are lessons I am to learn
on this journey.
And I ask for your wisdom, patience, and prayers as we
travel along.
I am going to do my best to start visiting all of you again.
I need the connection.
I need the inspiration.
I need the laughter.
I need to just be.
And you, my blogging friends, help me with all of that.
I'll be seeing you!
Hello Kristi,
ReplyDeleteHow are you?! I'm glad you're back. You know, there is never a good time to get sad or disturbing news. It comes to us and we need to just give it to the Father. We can't understand or handle the tide of emotions that invades our peace(what little there is). But, we can have a deep joy in knowing that our Father knows our grievings and the desires of our hearts. Stay steeped in prayer with your friend and her family. Stay with her in thought and prayer, knowing that your Father knows what's best. More than anything, I believe, that it is difficult to see our loved-ones go through trials and sicknesses---That's simply having the heart of Jesus-compassionate and humble, in sharing sorrow. You and yours will stay in my prayers. Take care and openly receive His Word and blessings.
Much love, Cynthia.
....i should have a chair and a private desk and NOT read posts at work....cause tears and answering a work phone don't go hand in hand. My prayers will be with you as you take this journey and let yourself just be with your dear friend. Feel His arms...and love. Your blogging friends are real, have missed you, and will walk with you now...Hugs.
ReplyDeleteKristi, this breaks my heart. What a sad reality to face. I wish you and your dear friend and family inner strength. I am sending prayers your way. We are here for you and wish you courage on your journey.
ReplyDeleteHi Kristi,
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time to your blog, but I wanted to reach out and say that you and your friends/family are in my thoughts. Unfortunately, I've been in your shoes more than once or twice, and there's nothing I can say to make this journey any easier.
Take care of YOU and take advantage of the support that you have and the love in your life. The connections you have--there and online--will help you stay strong through this mess. Take a deep breath, take all the time you need and take comfort in your blessings!
I sent up a prayer for all of you. This is not an easy journey, but you are right when you say that it is a gift. I hope you will all find strength and peace and I pray your friend will not be in much pain. Many blessings to you all.
ReplyDeletebest lain plans – agreed Kristi, you are going to need inspiration, and connection, and I think you're going to want to talk about it – and not everybody will want to listen – so maybe your blog is the best place for it. The only person I nursed through to the end of their life was my mom. She hadn't accepted Our Lord as Savior – I shared the gospel many times – in the end she had accepted. Godspeed with your friend – and what it may do to your heart. And God bless and keep you and each and every one of yours.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you are back, and I am so sorry to hear about your friend. What has been so wonderful about blogging for me is the incredible support, compassion, and understanding I've gotten during hard times. Know that we are here for you.
ReplyDelete