Just Write....I love this link up!
There's no topic to choose....just me and my words flowing out however I want. That is such freedom!
I love it....yet then I sit and ponder what I should write.
Thus, the dilemma.
I've learned that I like directions.
I like to color within the lines.
I'm happy to be the worker bee following along with whatever the queen bee dictates.
This is fine in some situations. It's a quality that makes me a good team member. I'm easy to get along with because making waves is not what I do.
And, hey, we can't all be the queens....those worker bees are pretty fantastic!
Yet, some days I know this characteristic holds me back, and too much freedom paralyzes me sometimes.
When I have a whole day ahead of me...and I know I have things to be done but I can choose when and how I do them?
Those are the days that I often accomplish the least.
Because there aren't any directions.
There are no lines for me to color within...so I scribble all over and don't create much.
But it's not the lack of lines that is the problem.
It's the lack of faith I have in myself.
If I can take freedom and embrace it.
Let it open my heart and split my spirit wide.
Let go of the ever present need to perform and please.
Draw my own lines to help me stay on track.
I know I could soar more....and embrace the power that I often forget I have within.
I'm finding it a bit easier to do this as I age.
Maybe that's God's way of making up for the sagging body and stray gray hairs.
He's allowing me to gain wisdom...to be more confident in the person He created me to be.
His grace is helping me realize that "who cares?" if my endeavors measure up to anyone else's.
Open up the big girl crayon box and color away...that's what I'm going to embrace today!
Linking up with: The Extraordinay Ordinary ~ Just Write
Linking up with: Things I Can't Say
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
At Least For Today
I wake up to the alarm...beeping incessantly.
My head tightening in that familiar ache...Migraine Day.
Shuffling in the semi~dark I find my pills and swallow.
But at least for today I can administer this medication on my own.
No nurse wearing plastic gloves as she places toxic fluid marked with a warning label into my veins.
Waking up the kids who don't want to wake I see the dirty dishes piled in the sink and overflowing onto the surrounding counter.
Messes are in every room. Every. Room.
But at least for today my muscles have strength and I can clean.
Kids calling to me. Putting voice to their needs.
"Please turn the dryer on wrinkle release, Mom!"
"Can you make my lunch?"
"Mine too!"
"Leaving my uniform here. Please bring it to the Ortho. appt."
"Remember mom...you're working concession stand tonight!"
"Where's all the stuff you made for bake sale today?!"
Listening I can feel the headache band tighten.
But at least for today I can meet these needs. I don't have to reassure them that mommy won't die today.
The scent of peanut butter and the bright lights of the kitchen make me nauseous.
Feel the rolling of my stomach.
But at least for today I know this will pass. Nausea won't be my daily companion.
Throwing on my sweats, I cringe as I catch a glance in the mirror.
Bed head hair, dark circled eyes, and bigger than desired body.
Wondering how I can blend in so nobody sees me as I drive to school.
But at least for today I have hair, and my body isn't wasting away from disease.
Tasks and thoughts tumbling through my head.
To do lists forming, growing longer and some panic creeping in.
How will I can all this done today...especially with this migraine?
But at least for today I'm not riding to a CAT scan to find out if my tumor is shrinking or continuing to grow.
Perspective is always something that is needed.
My friend Carrie is going through all of my "but at least for today thoughts".
So although I can't rip this tumor out of her... I can't rid her body of this horrible disease...
At least for today I can pray for her.
At least for today I can love her.
At least for today I can do all I need to do in honor of her because for at least today she isn't able to do these things
**These are the thoughts in my head...unedited. Carrie, a wife and mom of 2 young children is fighting a battle with advanced cancer. She is so loved. She is so needed. Today is her CAT scan. She's had 8 weeks of chemo with 10 more weeks to go. If you are someone who prays I ask you to please send up a prayer for her although you don't know her. She has dark hair, blue eyes and a beauty of both face and spirit that lights up a room. She is a prayer warrior and prays for countless others every day. I'm asking that the prayers be for her today. Thank you so much to all who can pray.
Blessings~
Kristi
Linking up with Write On Edge
Linking up with Pour Your Heart Out
Linking up with Just Write
This is the fifth installment of Just Write, an exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments. {Please see the details and some examples here.} I would love to read your freely written words so join me and link up.
Linking up with dVerse....a really cool community of poets. Drop in
and sit a spell.
My head tightening in that familiar ache...Migraine Day.
Shuffling in the semi~dark I find my pills and swallow.
But at least for today I can administer this medication on my own.
No nurse wearing plastic gloves as she places toxic fluid marked with a warning label into my veins.
Waking up the kids who don't want to wake I see the dirty dishes piled in the sink and overflowing onto the surrounding counter.
Messes are in every room. Every. Room.
But at least for today my muscles have strength and I can clean.
Kids calling to me. Putting voice to their needs.
"Please turn the dryer on wrinkle release, Mom!"
"Can you make my lunch?"
"Mine too!"
"Leaving my uniform here. Please bring it to the Ortho. appt."
"Remember mom...you're working concession stand tonight!"
"Where's all the stuff you made for bake sale today?!"
Listening I can feel the headache band tighten.
But at least for today I can meet these needs. I don't have to reassure them that mommy won't die today.
The scent of peanut butter and the bright lights of the kitchen make me nauseous.
Feel the rolling of my stomach.
But at least for today I know this will pass. Nausea won't be my daily companion.
Throwing on my sweats, I cringe as I catch a glance in the mirror.
Bed head hair, dark circled eyes, and bigger than desired body.
Wondering how I can blend in so nobody sees me as I drive to school.
But at least for today I have hair, and my body isn't wasting away from disease.
Tasks and thoughts tumbling through my head.
To do lists forming, growing longer and some panic creeping in.
How will I can all this done today...especially with this migraine?
But at least for today I'm not riding to a CAT scan to find out if my tumor is shrinking or continuing to grow.
Perspective is always something that is needed.
My friend Carrie is going through all of my "but at least for today thoughts".
So although I can't rip this tumor out of her... I can't rid her body of this horrible disease...
At least for today I can pray for her.
At least for today I can love her.
At least for today I can do all I need to do in honor of her because for at least today she isn't able to do these things
**These are the thoughts in my head...unedited. Carrie, a wife and mom of 2 young children is fighting a battle with advanced cancer. She is so loved. She is so needed. Today is her CAT scan. She's had 8 weeks of chemo with 10 more weeks to go. If you are someone who prays I ask you to please send up a prayer for her although you don't know her. She has dark hair, blue eyes and a beauty of both face and spirit that lights up a room. She is a prayer warrior and prays for countless others every day. I'm asking that the prayers be for her today. Thank you so much to all who can pray.
Blessings~
Kristi
Linking up with Write On Edge
Linking up with Pour Your Heart Out
Linking up with Just Write
This is the fifth installment of Just Write, an exercise in free writing your ordinary and extraordinary moments. {Please see the details and some examples here.} I would love to read your freely written words so join me and link up.
Linking up with dVerse....a really cool community of poets. Drop in
and sit a spell.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Why Not?
A rule follower all my life.
Coloring within the lines drawn before.
Happily conforming myself...fitting the mold
That was formed, fired and set
By the ones who traveled first.
Happiness was found, contentment there too.
I like coloring neatly and precisely.
Yet need I do it always?
Do I have to keep myself
Limited to what I already know?
Aging has brought wisdom and questions.
Now when faced with a choice
Instead of saying I can not
I choose to say... why not?
Create a blog out of nothing?
I just asked myself...why not?
Sleep in till noon on Monday?
I will ask myself... why not?
Running my first 10 mile race
When I was 44 years old?
I chose to say... why not?
Loving wholeheartedly? Dancing in living rooms?
Eating french fries under the covers?
I delight in saying... why not?
My kids reaching for their dreams?
Kissing my husband in the rain?
I will always say...why not?
Living a life full of intention?
Breathing the joy of being alive?
Letting the love of God flow
Through the minutes and the hours?
I must always say...why not?
http://melissacamarawilkins.com/blog/
Inspired by the words~ Why not?
Coloring within the lines drawn before.
Happily conforming myself...fitting the mold
That was formed, fired and set
By the ones who traveled first.
Happiness was found, contentment there too.
I like coloring neatly and precisely.
Yet need I do it always?
Do I have to keep myself
Limited to what I already know?
Aging has brought wisdom and questions.
Now when faced with a choice
Instead of saying I can not
I choose to say... why not?
Create a blog out of nothing?
I just asked myself...why not?
Sleep in till noon on Monday?
I will ask myself... why not?
Running my first 10 mile race
When I was 44 years old?
I chose to say... why not?
Loving wholeheartedly? Dancing in living rooms?
Eating french fries under the covers?
I delight in saying... why not?
My kids reaching for their dreams?
Kissing my husband in the rain?
I will always say...why not?
Living a life full of intention?
Breathing the joy of being alive?
Letting the love of God flow
Through the minutes and the hours?
I must always say...why not?
http://melissacamarawilkins.com/blog/
Inspired by the words~ Why not?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)