Best Laid Plans....Again

I had the best of plans.

I posted that I was "baaaacckkk" a week ago after a long absence.

I couldn't wait to get back to my comfy chair, my writing desk that has my favorite inspirational items on it, and blog happy posts
 to my heart's content.

I was excited to participate in Six Word Fridays, Mama Kat,
Sunday Citar, and The Red Dress Club.
I was thrilled at the thought of reconnecting with my blogging friends.
I thought I had it all planned.

Then I got the early morning phone call.

Phone calls that come in the darkness of night

or first breath of dawn

are rarely ones that we want to answer.

It was a call I had been anticipating,
but not emotionally prepared for.

A very close friend of mine was taken to the hospital.
Her cancer has spread from her cervix....to her spleen...to her lungs.
She got the news that life for her was soon to be over.
Two weeks to ten months is what the experts say.

She is young....36 years old.
She  has a wonderful husband....Lucas.
She has two beautiful children....
Noah...8 years old
Emily...5 years old
She has a faith that is inspiring to all around her.
She has a beauty that shines from within.
Her name is Carrie...
and she is loved.

So those plans I had been making fell to the wayside...
as they should.
Carrie and Lucas are part of our small church group.
In fact Lucas and I lead the group of 9.
We always say we are a family, and this was the time to show that.
The phone calls started.
The 3 hour round trips to the hospital began.
The holding of hands, wiping of tears, praying of hearts, and
finding laughter in the darkness began.

The journey of saying goodbye began.

I have never been on this journey before.
I've never sat with and loved someone as they faced death.
No matter how heart wrenching,
I know it is a gift...
and a privilege...
and a time of grace.
 Still I couldn't help but think of plans.

How will we do this?
How will we do that?
How do we ease the burdens...lighten the load...show the love?
And in a moment of clarity,
I heard Him.

Don't plan...just be.

Be present in each moment
whether busy doing tasks that need to be done,
or offering comfort and shared prayers,
just be.

So, my best laid plans have changed.
My planned post topics have changed.
Life has changed for us all.
I know there are lessons I am to learn
on this journey.
And I ask for your wisdom, patience, and prayers as we
travel along.

I am going to do my best to start visiting all of you again.
I need the connection.
I need the inspiration.
I need the laughter.
I need to just be.
And you, my blogging friends, help me with all of that.
I'll be seeing you!

The Best Laid Plans

I woke up this morning eager to get outside and begin planting the flowers that have been waiting so patiently, in their pots and flats, for their new home.  We are preparing for a big party celebrating our oldest son's graduation. We are expecting A LOT of people. We are not ready. 

When I awoke, the eagerness faded as I saw the gray skies outside. We have experienced days upon days of rain here. Trying to be optimistic, I told myself that the earth will be softer....easier to work with after this week long monsoon.  But as I stopped outside and my feet sunk an inch into the grass and water puddled around my footprint....my optimism waned a bit. 

I wanted to be outside before the day got too hot.  However, 52 degrees is a bit nippy for me when it's combined with the wet ground and damp air.  I wimped out and came back inside.  The plants will have to wait a bit more for "moving day".

There is much to be done inside.  Rooms to be organized and cleaned...little (and some big) repairs that we have learned to live without doing...menu to plan...calls to be made...pictures to organize...the list goes on.  Rest assured, there is plenty to keep me occupied inside.  But like a spoiled child I wanted to stomp my feet and whine, "Noooooo....I want to plant my pretty flowers todaaaaaaaaay!"  I craved that time of communion with God as I worked outside.

It looks like God has other plans...and, after my momentary tantrum,  I've graciously decided to just flow with them. Of course, what else can I do?  Yet, I have decided to face this Saturday with a smile, to let peace precede where stress wants to lead, and to bask in the sense of accomplishment that occurs when completing any task...big or small.

It seems as if my communion with God will be done over dirty dishes and messy closets.  Repairing damage rather than adding beauty .  On further reflection, I think maybe that's what was meant for me today.  Repair, clean, and organize the internal as I work on the external.

The flowers will still be there...waiting to bring their beauty...tomorrow.